the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
