Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
