We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
