Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i drank out of a bidet.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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