What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
