you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
