But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pappa wants mamma naked
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize