this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
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Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"