The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.