white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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