Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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