Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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