he shaved USA in his pubs
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
