Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
