Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize