Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
