I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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