You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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