So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
