can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
