I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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