in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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