I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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