it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize