He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
