it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Drake has all the answers
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
