Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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