Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize