Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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