Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
