all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize