she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
