yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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