yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
