god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
