Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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