a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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