Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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