oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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