I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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