I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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