We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize