i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
