so that wasnt chicken after all
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
