She is in my trunk
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Randomize
