i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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