i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
