If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
