Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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