I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have surprise drugs for everyone
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
