I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
