So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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