erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he thought i was a dude.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
