Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
