As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
