i jhust puked up my retainher.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
