Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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