five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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