You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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