this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
