whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
